computer nerd jokes

And if they have eggs, get 6!”. computers, the Internet, phones (not android obviously!). Close. A horrible date can turn into a treasured memory. A: They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. So I’ve been searching for some of the best computer nerd jokes I can find and today I offer you 21 of the best. Here are some great nerd jokes about computer nerds, plus dirty jokes and a lot of other funny nerdy shit. Geeks are cool, nobody could disprove it since the Big Bang Theory. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. You’ve found one Newton per square meter. More jokes about: computer, IT, nerd, technology If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux? Nerd Season A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. You can always see different groups of people gathered in the schoolyard. Meet funny computer Rednecks and disgruntled computers. Vote: share joke The first asks for a beer. Geek Jokes and Sayings. The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. It’s virtually impossible to confirm their origins or their authors, but should anyone be able to advise then please do let me know. See TOP 10 IT one liners. A big list of computer jokes! Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates! The largest collection of IT one-line jokes in the world. You'll hear from the help desk, Dr. Seuss, and famous people in the computer business. Liked these funny nerd jokes? I myself was a bit of a nerd and hey I’m fine today. I dedicate these nerd jokes to all the nerds out there. Who is a computer’s favorite singer? NERD JOKES . The funniest nerd jokes only! It's healthy and contagious. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content. The longer you've been working with computers, the more you'll enjoy this. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. What do you call an educated tube? But stupid jokes are generally kryptonite to boring social situations. What's your favorite nerdy joke? Funny Computer Joke – 8. Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. My attitude isn't bad. See more ideas about Humor, Nerd humor, Bones funny. Meet funny computer Rednecks and disgruntled computers. They always make me smile. 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Log in. Descartes walks into a bar. Ahhh, life… isn’t it amazing? Are you a computer whiz? Enjoy our collection of funny, geeky, tech, programmer and computer jokes below and make sure to share them with friends and family. Without them, we would not have the technology we have today, iPhones, cars, computer and so on. Helium In A Bar. Computer Nerd Jokes. it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware. it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. 889. The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. They are very click-y. He wanted to tell his young child some core life morals, as well as teach about old technology. They always make me smile. Post Cancel. Computer techs have skilled fingers if you know what I mean. Share these funny nerd jokes on social media, Three logicians walk into a bar. Use your power of observation and take a look at some of these brilliant and nerdy puns that only scientists would understand. How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb? “I don’t care how cool you are,” said Channing Tatum. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. None. 21 Jokes Only Nerds Will Understand. Sources: Mostly two very, very long Slashdot threads. Here are funny computer jokes and puns. Well, ok, there aren’t really ‘too’ many, just too many to keep up to date and organized. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, "COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!" Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. << See All of our Jokes Categories Here! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! They all got out of the car. They would thank you. Send us a message. Book. The fourth is begins to order an eighth of a beer but the … 2. So be ye an IT geek, a linguist geek, a general know-it-all or simply enjoy a bit of a mental stretch in your jokes, welcome! Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates! We are adding a one-click tweet button with every one-liner for you to be able to quickly share them on Twitter. Absolutely hillarious IT one-liners! Logical. You won’t need blue light glasses for these computer jokes and IT jokes. You may also enjoy some funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of really funny acronyms. What's your favorite nerdy joke? The bartender asks, “Do all of you want a drink?”, The first logician says, “I don’t know.”, The second logician says, “I don’t know.”. How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb? … The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” The helium doesn’t react. For everything else, there’s Google. Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross … 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get [email protected] 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get Originally published by Pavel Malos on September 18th 2017 193,482 reads There are only 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes 77 Best Funny Love Quotes 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes 27 Best President Jokes 20 Best Banker Jokes Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. A horrible date can turn into a treasured memory. It rings a bell. Share. They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand-foot drop to jagged rocks. The longer you've been working with computers, the more … The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one.”. Note: This article first appeared on this blog back in 2010, and we slightly touched up the jokes … Descartes says “I think not” and disappears. Because all proper tea is theft. It’s virtually impossible to confirm their origins or their authors, but should anyone be able to advise then please do let me know. Then why not share them with your friends? They just change the standard to darkness. A SEO couple had twins. What’s the best way to learn about computers? Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get by@pavel.malos 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get Originally published by Pavel Malos on September 18th 2017 193,482 reads The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.” Pascal is nowhere to be seen. The Computer Nerd and His Apprentice. Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. Ahhh, life… isn’t it amazing? Enjoy our collection of funny, geeky, tech, programmer and computer jokes below and make sure to share them with friends and family. Two – one to hold the light bulb and one to rotate the universe. Why is it hard to make friends with computer nerds? Computer Jokes and Puns. This post was made from a Reddit thread that asked users what the most intellectual joke they knew was. 80 Jokes for Computer Nerds and the Rest of Us My computer jokes are grouped into 12, yes 12, sections on this page. I do love computer nerd jokes. The second asks for half a beer. So, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new technological apprentice. The third asks for a quarter beer. Tech One Liners: Some things Man was never meant to know. Here are some funny nerd jokes that all of us self-professed geeks will find not just funny, but useful as well. Check out some awesome accounting jokes or funny math jokes. Everyone’s a nerd inside. It might seem stale or boring, but scientists often […] Read … Laugh at 20 really funny nerd jokes. There’s whiteout on the screen. See more ideas about computer humor, computer jokes, humor. How do you know if a blonde has been using a computer? Infect yourself with 50 hilarious geeky one-line jokes. Posted by 9 years ago. but are generally just jokes about geek topics e.g. Nerd Season A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. Bit by bit. 21 witty one liners so good you’ll laugh out loud, 10 funny but stupid jokes that’ll make your children howl laughing, 5 of the funniest jokes you’ll read today or any day, Short Story Jokes: Here are 5 more to brighten your day, 25 funny facts to entertain and amuse you, 37 funny comebacks for dealing with rude people, 10 humor quotes to make you think and make you smile, 21 very corny jokes that will cheer you up guaranteed, 10 silly jokes guaranteed to make you laugh, 10 hilarious jokes that will certainly make you laugh, 15 Quotes by Buddha that’ll make you think, 21 thought-provoking quotes about friendship, 3 hilarious short story jokes guaranteed to raise a smile. The husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. I didn’t even know they were Catholic. I do love computer nerd jokes. 80 Jokes for Computer Nerds and the Rest of Us My computer jokes are grouped into 12, yes 12, sections on this page. These jokes don’t just poke fun and Nerds/Geeks (yes you!) Related Categories. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum. In fact, a real zinger of a joke delivered right could get you hired - don’t quote me. A RAM. Baby you're so cute you made my page 404. They haven’t had a gig yet. If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net on a 14.4k dial up connection. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Archived. Protons have mass? Don't worry honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM. The bartender says “Sorry, we … The first asks for a beer. Perfect for geeks and people in IT. Have you heard about the sick chemist? Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. *Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics … 100 characters remaining. Stupid jokes can turn a frown upside down. The wife asks him: “Why the heck did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”. Why is it hard to make friends with computer nerds? All sorted from the best by our visitors. Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity. “Don’t you mean a martini?” asks the bartender. There are too many jokes! See TOP 10 nerd jokes from collection of 49 jokes rated by visitors. You'll hear from the help desk, Dr. Seuss, and famous people in the computer business. During our search to find the funniest video game jokes and memes online, we ran into a problem. 97 of them, in fact! Next time your coworkers are telling their favorite jokes around the water cooler you'll be more than prepared to wow them with one of these zingers. Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? The Computer Nerd and His Apprentice. ... computer science computer nerd computer programming computer virus computer mouse. Dreary work parties can suddenly turn into super fun. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. So, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new technological apprentice. Dreary work parties can suddenly turn into super fun. Some helium floats into a bar. Don't worry honey, they call … A Dell. Or people with questionable senses of humor. Oct 24, 2018 - Explore Janine Lucas's board "Nerd Humor", followed by 116 people on Pinterest. Stupid jokes can turn a frown upside down. You might be a computer nerd if you can’t get up in the middle of the night to go use the bathroom without checking your email! She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ’Take what you want!’” The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.” Please share this post with your friends: This site uses cookies to improve your experience. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: “Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”. How do you know the moon is going broke? Also check out our other funny jokes categories. A graduated cylinder. Q: How does a network administrator nerd greet people who come to his house? Here are some great nerd jokes about computer nerds, plus dirty jokes and a lot of other funny nerdy shit. So I’ve been searching for some of the best computer nerd jokes I can find and today I offer you 21 of the best. You’ve found Pascal!”. ). The third asks for a quarter beer. The one with the lowest mew. Computer Nerd Jokes. All sorted from the best by our visitors. He’s sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side. The fourth begins to order an eighth of a beer but the bartender cuts him off: He pours two beers and goes to help other customers. Tech One Liners: Some things Man was never meant to know. They are very click-y. Like. Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium hydride? Einstein says: “Newton, you’re terrible, I’ve found you!”, Newton says: “No no, Einy. Absolutely hillarious IT one-liners! It's healthy and contagious. It’s down to its last quarter. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes for nerds. Computer Jokes. << See All of Our Pick Up Line Categories Here! They all got … They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand-foot drop to jagged rocks. Research and experiments are part of the science life. Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10, then opens them. Logical. A wife asks her husband, who is a software engineer: “Could you please go shopping for me and buy 1 carton of milk. ). Sure, some jokes do come with their fair share of cringe. Do you know the name Pavlov? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, you’ll probably have to barium. There are only 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, "COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT … We are adding a one-click tweet button with every one-liner for you to be able to quickly share them on Twitter. Read the best and funny computer jokes, computer science jokes, computer geek jokes and computer jokes for kids only on Jokerz. im not procrastinating, im, not, procrastinating, procastinating, procrastinator, … How does a computer get drunk? We won’t bite unless we’re angry. And if you’re looking for even more geeky content, be sure to check out how developers obsess about code names and the history of computer data storage in pictures.

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